It was a cool day in February when I met the Cupid of Abuse in disguise. He was loving, kind, and so sweet. He was so loving, such a protector oh and a great lover. Cupid came through for date nights, winning an Oscar for sending flowers, opening car doors, helping me study my school lesson, would leave notes and money for hair do’s, nails did, dinner, and more. What really stole my heart is his relationship with my dad, also he loved the Redskins just as much as I do!! How could such an amazing man turn into a MONSTER!
His Animate Version, the real episode “Coleslaws Reality.’ It was all fun and games until we moved into our own place, I became his property. Just as sweet as Coleslaw when in public just as sour as spoiled milk if I voiced my opinion behind closed doors. Yet as a wife I would cheer on her narcissistic husband in public when another complimented how good he was to me, or don’t let one of his friends compliment me on how nice I look that would send him in extreme rage and begin accusing me of sleeping with his friends. The first time was a surprise he was so nice to me at dinner, we danced, he held my hand, but when we got in the car, he gave me the silent treatment. I was thinking she was tired. Once we got out of the car and to the door, he began calling me B**ch’s. I was so confused about how his niceness turned to rage when no one was around. I genuinely thought he loved me.
Yet no matter how bad it got in public I was encouraging, supporting, and standing by the CUPID OF ABUSE my husband. Cupid in the streets is a monster in truly to say the least. I was his trophy doll nice shape, beautiful yet none of that kept him from blackening my eye, beating, hitting, kicking, spitting on me.
Cupid kept the makeup on the bills list so I could cover the bruises on my face no way could his trophy doll look like what he had put her through. It was always my fault. Summers for me consist of long sleeves even on scorching summer days.
Coleslaw and his trophy wife's life were not as romantic as they looked for those on the outside looking in, instead, it was a tormented, scary, dark story of abuse. I put up with the abuse even after the loss of a child. I stayed I had an image to uphold. Then one day enough became enough and sick and tired was sick of being sick and tired I found the strength to leave the Cupid of Abuse. The abuse didn’t stop with him but carried from one relationship to the next until I realized I didn’t need a man to complete me.
One day I learned to love myself first. It took a while. I had to make myself happy. I was a TROPHY my value of who I am, my peace, and my beauty didn’t have to be validated by a man. I am as precious as a Rubie, I am a diamond in the rough.
He no longer had control over me I had control over me. He could no longer control or use me. I had to take my life back that was stolen by ole Coleslaw.
I stand tall I am a survivor. God has given me and her strength to endure this race and, in the process, to inspire other women and men to leave an abusive partner and teach them how to develop a safety plan. God has also given me the power of victory, perseverance, and stamina to help many others who have followed my story over the last six years. My key line of encouragement is never idolizing anyone's relationship it may look like a loving healthy relationship on social media but, they may be dealing with an unhealthy tale of Stockholm Syndrome and a person may be forced into a life they would never choose.
As a survivor of domestic abuse, it is not only my responsibility to talk about the horrific violence one may endure but bring awareness to anyone I encounter to let them know my past relationship was nothing to idolize, but something to learn from so we can put a stop to domestic abuse in our homes, communities, and churches.
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