Like many young women I was startled to have a boyfriend who got along with my parents and my family. He was my knight and shiny armor until the day I said I do I became his property. Howard tells the story of how a high school girl with big dreams to join the apprenticeship school — fell into an abusive relationship. She seeks to answer the question people always ask about women who are being abused: Why does she stay? Why don’t she tell anyone?
Many may call it “teenage love.” Like many other young women her age experience teen dating abuse each year, her relationship started with adoration, lowkey isolation, and extreme manipulation — and then the violence begins.
Yes, I didn’t want to admit I was a victim, I didn’t want to admit I was being abused but guess what folks I was a typical domestic violence victim. Now to answer you question why did I stay? I didn’t realize I was being abused, I needed to prove to my family I could do this I was pregnant, and I wanted to be grown and raise my family in a two-parent home. Why don’t you tell anyone? Remember the famous saying what goes on in my house stay in my house. You don’t tell your business you handle your business.
Even though he beat me, stomped a whole in my intestines, beat my son out of me, threaten to take my oldest daughter away from me, hit me while driving down the road, cheated on me, made me have sex with him after beating me, I never once saw myself as a battered wife. Instead, I was a very strong young woman in love with a monster.
Now I tell my story every where I go to help other young women know that abuse is not ok. Let’s call it what it is ABUSE we do not have to be ashamed of someone else actions. We deserve better and let’s educate our communities and let them know just because we see it in the community do not mean we have to be apart of what we see. We do not have to be apart of statistics. My voice is powerful I am no longer that teenage girl who felt weak because of the words he used to degrade me.